An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands


I was a shitty husband.

And it’s not because I’m a massive jerk, or abusive, or particularly difficult to get along with.

I was a shitty husband because I didn’t respect my wife’s thoughts and feelings about things I mistakenly believed didn’t matter. When two people disagree, both think they’re right. Which makes the other person wrong.

But sometimes there is no “right.” Sometimes, there is no “wrong.”

You liked the movie. She didn’t. She likes salsa dancing. You don’t. Nobody is right or wrong. But we treat one another like that’s the case. That what I think and believe and feel is right. Therefore, you must be wrong.

I was a shitty husband because I promised her in front of hundreds of people we knew that I would love and honor her all the days of my life. In good times, and in bad. And then I didn’t do that. I didn’t do it in the bad times because I didn’t “feel” like it. Because it wasn’t easy or convenient.

For years, I put my wants and needs ahead of her’s. Not for the “big things,” which is all I thought mattered. I put me first in all the “little things.” Disagreements about housework, passively leaving her to manage our schedules, and the logistics of caring for our son.

She tried to talk to me about it. But I didn’t listen.

I thought she was nagging. Complaining. Being needy. Being a bitch.

I thought because I was a nice person, and that I’d made sacrifices for her, that I was a good husband. I thought because I didn’t do a bunch of bad things some guys do that I was a good husband. I didn’t realize it until much too late: Good men can be bad husbands. Just like good men can be bad at designing bridges, or bad at water-color painting, or bad at water skiing.

We don’t want to hear bad things being said about us. Especially from those we believe we sacrifice daily for. So when we do, we don’t listen. We justify our behavior. Rationalize it. Get defensive. And angry.

We disagree with them, and tell them they’re wrong. Sometimes we tell them they’re crazy. Sometimes we raise our voices or call them a name.

Divorce is the great social crisis of our time, and not enough people are talking about it. Two good, smart, nice people marry voluntarily, and deny it though they will, it’s a coin toss as to whether they’ll be married a decade later.

I tell my story so that maybe other people won’t get divorced like me.

[NOTE: I felt like I cracked a secret life code when I understood for the first time WHY my wife would want a divorce. It changed the entire world for me. I have to credit the book “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” for putting me on the right path. Maybe it can help you or your partner, too.]

The Posts

Vol. 1

I was in a lot of pain and blaming my ex-wife in the immediate aftermath of her leaving. Vol. 1 represented the first time I began learning to accept responsibility for my very large role in destroying the marriage.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 1

Vol. 2

I got into a really preachy phase with my writing. I’m sure it was annoying because clearly I’m an asshole who doesn’t know anything. But my heart was in the right place.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 2

Vol. 3

I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). The whole scene made me sad because it reminded me of how I used to treat my ex-wife.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 3

Vol. 4

There’s a really scary phase during a couple’s slow descent to divorce that many husbands don’t realize is scary. When a wife finally snaps and decides to leave or have an affair, her personality often transitions from sad and angry to resigned and apathetic. An observant husband will notice the change immediately. But before she snaps, there’s a period of time in which she’s trying to save your marriage. She wants to be married to you, to love you, and to be together for your children. And in her last-ditch effort to reach you, you often dig in your heels in “manly” defiance. “Stop trying to change me!” If you love winning fights and getting your way more than you love your wife, then you probably deserve what’s about to happen.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 4

Vol. 5

Yes, guys. You have to help around the house. Not sure if you checked the calendar lately, but it’s not 1960 anymore. No matter how insane you think it sounds, she WILL divorce you for leaving a dish by the sink.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 5

Vol. 6

You can destroy your marriage by trying to be “nice.” By letting your spouse make all the decisions. You think it’s a nice gesture, letting the other person have their way. But really? You’re killing them, their respect and desire for you, and it’s all going to break one day. All because you don’t want to be responsible for making plans two weekends from now or scheduling the kids’ dentist appointments or planning family meals. Maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 6

Vol. 7

Men are generally very competitive creatures. I know I am. But despite that, men AREN’T competitive about marriage. And by that, I mean, they tend to not work hard to be the best husband and father imaginable as a measure of pride. They strive for greatness at work, or in a particular organization or social club or hobby. But men don’t seem to think being the best at marriage is a worthwhile endeavor. Considering it’s one of the most-important things we do in this life, and we have such a high failure rate, I wonder why that is.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 7

Vol. 8

What starts at an early age on playgrounds, turns into a relationship killer in adulthood. Men using jokes, sarcasm and mockery to belittle their wives and girlfriends both privately and publicly. It may not be intended to be cruel. It often isn’t. But the recipient of those “jokes” often feels as if it’s cruel. Beat her down long enough, and only one of two things can happen: She’ll leave you for someone who respects her, or you’ll break her and she won’t be the person you married anymore. Maybe she already isn’t.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 8

Vol. 9

Guys like “Me”-time. Maybe everyone does. But a lot of time when husbands and fathers do it, it looks and feels to his wife and children like he isn’t interested in them or that he’d rather spend time alone than with his family. When guys get married young, they often think it’s going to be just like having a permanent girlfriend. That marriage is basically just promising to never have sex with any other women. Sometimes, no one teaches us that marriage isn’t about us. That it’s actually for the person we’re marrying. No one teaches us that the key to sustaining love and happiness isn’t taking. It’s giving.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 9

Vol. 10

Wives sometimes turn into someone else throughout the course of their marriages. Men don’t like it because the person they married is gone. Women don’t like it because they lose the fun, innocent version of themselves they remember from their youth. Husbands lose their wives’ trust. Not over the big things, most of the time. Over the little things. Men won’t change, so their wives MUST. Resentment builds. And much of the time, everything breaks.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 10

Vol. 11

I think married couples who are sad and angry about their lives and relationships make the mistake of trying to “fix the marriage.” They spend all their time trying to figure out how “we” can do things different, and how the other person can make changes to make life better. But I think people need to work on themselves to fix the marriage. To look inside themselves and figure out how they can be their best self. Two people working to be the best versions of themselves have a great chance to succeed. Two people expecting the other to change on their behalf seem doomed to a life of sadness and frustration.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 11

Vol. 12

Cheating is never okay. We don’t want to do it. We don’t want it to happen to us. Almost everyone agrees it’s a horrible, destructive thing. Yet, it keeps happening over and over again. Even with a very decent spouse at home. Even with children and a seemingly happy life. I think it’s important for people to understand WHY this happens, so they can be more self-aware, and so that spouses can work to fill the voids people try to fill with extramarital affairs.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 12

Vol. 13

Maybe somewhere, there’s an example of pornography and masturbation radically improving marriages and relationships. Anything’s possible. But what often happens while couples are slowly drifting apart is that husbands turn to porn and masturbation for sexual relief. Some people don’t think it’s a big deal. I think I’ve seen and heard enough evidence to convince me that heavy porn consumption and masturbation, especially if it’s being hidden as part of a secret life, can negatively affect marriage, and not always in ways people think it will.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 13

Vol. 14

Of the many things I didn’t do that might have resulted in a successful marriage, my failure to mindfully plan fun activities and make tiny time investments to communicate how much I valued my wife and our marriage is probably the most egregious. There’s no excuse that doesn’t ultimately end with: Thousands of times I could have made a slightly different choice to focus on her and us, instead of me and whatever else. And I didn’t. Of all the things that could have saved the marriage, this would have been the easiest to do differently. In some respects, that makes this my greatest relationship failure.

An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 14

What Qualifies Me for the Job?


But I have a funny little brain and it works like this: There is nothing exceptional about me. Not a thing.

I am the averageiest average person alive.

I possess average intelligence, average physicality and average skills in many facets of life. I am average looking. I earn an average income. I live in an average house in an average town. I had an average upbringing. And now I’m just your average divorced dad stumbling through adulthood.

You know what I think that means?

I think it means A LOT of people can relate to me. I think it means that the mistakes I made and the things I think and feel are JUST LIKE all of the mistakes you make and things you think and feel.

And I’m willing to write it down.

And I have absolutely no idea why that helps people. But I know that it does. It helps people.

Shitty Husbands Abound

You know a shitty husband.

You are one, or you are married to one, or you were raised by one, or you’re friends with one.

Shitty husbands ARE NOT always bad people. Sometimes they are very good people who are simply not very good at being married.

You don’t have to be abusive or neglectful or adulterous or deceitful to be a shitty husband. You need only put your wants ahead of your spouse’s.

You do that enough times?

All while not listening to her pleas for help? Her cries for attention? Her desire for emotional and intimate connection?

She’s going to start having sex with someone else and leave you, or she’s going to WANT to, which is equally bad. It’s true.

These An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands posts are consistently among my most popular posts.

I like some of them more than others because some are poorly written. But what I’ve heard time and time again from frustrated wives and ex-wives (and some husbands and ex-husbands) is that they recognize the truth in all of this.

Male-female relationships tend to follow the same patterns and tend to result in the same conflicts.


Because if we’re all experiencing the same afflictions and symptoms, then we can all fix it with the same treatment and medicine.

Losing my family was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I’m cool now because a lot of time has passed, and a lot of healing happened. But it was all very, very bad. And I don’t want other people to have to go through it. Especially children.

Not everyone is going to make it. We’re human, and we fail.

But there doesn’t have to be this much brokenness in the world. So many marriages fail that don’t have to.

It makes me sad. And I believe it can be better.

And this is my small contribution to trying to be part of the solution.

I hope you’ll join me.

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448 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands

  1. Theresa Dailey says:

    I just cried for half an hour simply because my husband didn’t want me to ride to town with him…it’s not a big deal to him but it is to me…we do absolutely nothing together…I’ve talked,cried,screamed to try to get him to understand I need “Him” to no avail…I’m at my wits end…we’ve been together for 27 years so our children are on their own…I need help to figure out how to save our marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ljk says:

      When your husband doesn’t want to be with you anymore he has fallen out of love with you. It’s tragic but it happens I’ve been there. You need to get him to admit the truth and go from there. Either he’s interested in working on the marriage or he’s not and you will have to MoveOn no matter how painful


      • Maddy476 says:

        No one should have to beg their spouse to be with them. Sounds like he may be cheating.
        Pack his bags and move on. It’s scary at first but you will be less lonely. You are already alone.


    • Brina fay johnson says:

      Save yourself and your child. Whatever you do never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. If you have family inlist them to help. Save your money as much as you can. The day and hour he hits you let that be it….
      I know you want attention but it’s not that much make up sex in the world. Because if he ever start hitting you it will never stop and your daughter will marry the same kind of man. Amen sister.


    • Brina fay johnson says:

      Honey if possible get in you car go to town, movie, dinner, walmart and any place you want to. If he care he will start asking you where are you going so much? As long as you begg him he will continue to agnore you.on the other hand if he doesn’t say anything that means he don’t really care.


      • Connie corbin says:

        This is what I need to do, as painful as it is. My husband isn’t going to change. I have to move on.thanks for the great advice to all. :)


    • Lonely Married Woman. says:

      My big thing is, the only thing we seem to do together on a regular basis is watch TV or go to the movies. Nothing interactive. When we were dating, we used to play fun card games and board games together. After we got married, I tried to stay engaged in the D&D game he was running, but it turns out that after the first hour or two, I can’t stay focused on the kinds of games he likes to run.

      So that’s it. Screens. The only times we play the games I also like to play, are when we’re over with friends or relatives. Never at home. And I never quite know how to bring things up, because I didn’t have friends growing up and don’t know how to initiate social contact. (Worse: because I’m a woman, people automatically assume that I am Good At Socializing, and that my failure to set things up is because I don’t want to hang out, instead of because I have no idea what I’m doing.)


  2. David Claussen says:



  3. Kim says:

    I don’t like myself when I’m around my husband. We’ve been married for 29 years and I feel like its too late to leave. He makes me feel worthless, stupid and inadequate. I hate myself for staying this long and for allowing my kids to believe this is what marriage should be.


  4. mstngsally96 says:

    My husband was a shitty husband and in the end he divorced me. I was the wife he described here. Pleading, screaming, crying for his attention. He didn’t listen and didn’t want to listen. We didn’t make it to 10 years because of him. He stopped trying after the honeymoon phase. I never stopped trying, maybe because we didn’t get past 7 years.

    Liked by 2 people

    • AK says:

      My now husband and I have only been married since June thus year and together a total of almost 4 years. I feel like when things are good they’re really good, but when things are bad he gets very emotionally abusive and swears at me and calls me names in front if our 2 year old. I know I shouldn’t be putting up with this. I want our relationship to work cause I don’t want my daughter coming from a broken home like I did. I know I should be a prime role model for her and not allow her to see me allow myself to be treated this way. Reaching out cause I know I need help and want to save my marriage.


      • Brina fay johnson says:

        Save yourself and your child. Whatever you do never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. If you have family inlist them to help. Save your money as much as you can. The day and hour he hits you let that be it….
        I know you want attention but it’s not that much make up sex in the world. Because if he ever start hitting you it will never stop and your daughter will marry the same kind of man.


  5. Bye says:

    You hit the nail on the head! It’s too bad my husband thought it was one sided and emotionally manipulative for me to show him these articles as the last chance for him to understand my experience.


  6. Janet says:

    This may be helpful. I have a very shitty husband. Completely self absorbed, all conversation about him, does not even acknowledge me or anything I say. Wages war on me if I say anything he doesn’t understand: hours of insults upon me and my children if I ask him to
    Turn his attention to anything important to me. Yes, he is shitty. I have compassion because being an isolated lonely mean jerk can’t be much fun. Would be cool if I could find any way to reach the good person that I know is underneath that checked out mean facade. I’m losing hope and patience. But I’m gonna read your posts, for insight, before I give up.


    • Maddy476 says:

      Start packing your bags. The only way this man will wake up is to lose his wife and kids. If he doesn’t make the necessary changes, then you know he’s not worth it. Sometimes we bang our head against the wall waiting for the person to change and “get it” and they just don’t nor will they ever. That was my case. Move on with your life and be happy for your sake and the health and well-being of your kids. It will teach them that it’s unhealthy to be in an unhealthy relationship. I bet you will be 10x happier. I am !
      Good luck.


      • FREE says:

        I completely agree! I spend 47 years enduring the most self absorbed cruel man and in the end, I gave up. I’ve NEVER BEEN happier. Divorced isn’t bad. It’s like a fresh breeze that causes your self respect to come back. Being with someone who ignores you and doesn’t keep their promises to you isn’t something anyone deserves. Do it. Get out now. Don’t do what I did and keep on trying to fix it. Pointless!


        • Maddy476 says:

          YES !!! Isn’t it awesome. No more headaches. I’ve also never been happier. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. Big difference. I was lonely in my marriage. Life is too short.



        • Ljk says:

          Good for you. Never too late


        • Brina fay johnson says:

          Well, my husband and I was married then we repeated for 9 years then we got back together we’ve been together 25 years in all we have been in each other’s life for 35 years. So I know my husband is not going to stand for me to leaving again.


  7. […] hefty  Yourtango, Mustbethistalltoride, goodmenproject, […]


  8. Geogirl says:

    This “Open Letter to Shitty Husbands” is the most emotionaly helpful thing I’ve ever read on the subject of marriage. I no longer feel so alone. I, too, ask myself, “why did I stay?”. Now, that I am 68 and at the end of my life diagnosed with terminal cancer & unable to physically withstand treatments, I am still here wondering “why”?. I think It partly due to watching my dad be a shitty husband and then learning at age 20 yrs of age, learning that HE wasn’t my biological dad. My favorite uncle (another shitty husband) was my biological father! I need not wonder “why” this happened considering there were TWO shitty husbands involved. I could go on to describe all of my choices regarding my marriages. And maybe I will before I pass, in the hope that maybe I, too, can help someone else to not live the end of their lives like I must now.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. […] when I discovered this “code” on the heels of my life-crippling divorce, I felt a powerful compulsion to share my story and try to raise awareness about […]


  10. Mike says:

    Thanks for posting such insightful articles. I just came across this and realized I was doing a lot of the same behavior’s. I feel like there is a little glimmer of time left but she admits she is pretty tired and checked out of going through the roller coaster relationship. We often have the same fights and discussion. Either way I’m trying to fix myself with the help of your articles and wanted to thank you again for putting yourself out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wendie E. Macatangay says:

    I hope someone like you can talk to my husband to tell all this.
    When I get pregnant at the age of 18, he’s so excited knowing that he’s gonna be a father. I was working as a customer representative that time. I always going home early in the morning without him seeing waiting for me at the terminal. then he still let me do all the chores without helping me. I was forced to left my job since I am always hving headache due to i am awake in the evening then i can’t have enough sleep in the morning since i have to do chores
    . Then my due date arrives i had to undergo cesarean section because i am emclamptic my blood pressure isnt going down. Our hospital bill went 40,000php. He only had 10,000php onhand his family didnt even help us. Its a long story pls help me i need someone to talk to him


  12. […] over focusing our attention on the people and things that matter is essentially the summarized theme of Shitty Husbandry, as well as being a substandard friend, family member or teammate/partner of any […]


  13. Karen says:

    I loved my husband. I will love him until the day I die. We were married for 22 years, divorced for 4. He cheated at 16 years because he thought “[I] didn’t love [him].” I loved him but had started closing in in myself years before so I wouldn’t hurt anymore (self-fulfilling and self-destructive I see now). The best thing about divorce is I don’t have to go to bed lonely anymore. No more hoping and praying my husband will turn off the TV and climb into bed with me. No more hoping he will see me, no more hoping he will respect me, no more hoping he won’t tease me or talk down to me or minimize me. I still love him, but I love me more than him now.


    • Maddy476 says:

      That is awesome! Congrats. Funny how being single makes you feel better and not lonely. Enjoy your life. I am in same boat. Freedom !!


  14. […] this article (by the same guy), where he calls himself a “shitty husband” because he didn’t care about “the little […]


  15. Brina fay johnson says:

    This is the best piece of writing I have ever read. It sums up exactly how I am feeling.
    My husband is not a bad person he just don’t know how to talk to me. I keep telling him to treat me like a friend or a stranger. He has no Paraverbal communication skills at all. He is ill one minute and the next he’s something else.
    I’m always on a emotional roller coaster.
    I could go on and on but I just get tired.


  16. […] hefty  Yourtango, Mustbethistalltoride, goodmenproject, […]


  17. DL says:

    If only there was a way that my spouse who I’m currently separated from (for years) could accidentally receive this in his email! My family never tried to point my husband in the right direction in regards to his cruelty towards me, even after my many requests, and I feel that this information should come from another man. I’m past the point of non sympathetic and should have filed for divorce years ago and he still could care less.


    • Maddy476 says:

      If it makes you feel better, send it directly to him yourself. As long as you do it for you, not him. Nothing will wake him up and change unless he wants to. Having another man tell him won’t help. You don’t want him back anyway.

      Live your life and be happy.


  18. Ltdan says:

    Thank you for telling me I am a shitty husband!

    I was sitting at my computer tonight, lost in loneliness. My wife hasn’t slept in my bed for years now. She sleeps in the kid’s room. I thought she abandoned me. We have an 8 year old and a six month old. Her whole life is the kids. She spends alot of weekends staying at her parents house, leaving me alone. I feel like I am not even on her radar.

    Now before anyone asks, I geniunely believe I am a good person. I work more than full time so my wife can stay home (her choice, not mine). I moved from a city I loved to take a job near her hometown, leaving all my friends behind. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I don’t ignore my family. I go on outings with them (trips to the zoo, going out to eat once a week or so). I take my daughter to soccer practice and never miss a game. I do volunteer work at local schools. I am a committed member of our church and was even elected to the elder board. I take the opportunity to spend time with my in-laws quite frequently and don’t complain that we never seem to see my family (and I have 3 brothers and a sister).

    With all that being said. I now (perhaps finally) realize that I am a shitty husband. Tonight we had a stupid argument over me being irritated when she asked for some help. I answered that I would, but in a completely irritated voice. I was completely out-of-line. At the time, I was thinking that I just got home from a ten hour work day and I just wanted to relax a little bit. Now I realize she was crying out for both help and wanting me to be involved with the family.

    I realize I have left her more and more emotionally isolated over the years. We have been married for about 11 years now. As I read through some of these volumes, my feelings of indignation and frustration over being isolated began to change to guilt. I am beginning to see that this is a bed that I made for myself. I was the one who consistently ignored her pleas for help and attention.

    Don’t get me wrong, (and ladies this is important) my wife is not blameless. She, like anyone has her share of faults. For her part, she has a tendency to anger very easily. She is also slow to cool down. But I realize that at no point during our marriage have I ever really given 100%. I was always thinking she should be meeting me half way. What a mistake.

    Some people say “People don’t change.” I really hope that isn’t true. I want to be better. I just hope things aren’t too far gone for me to at least do as much as I can to prevent my marriage from failing.

    I still love my wife. I definitely love my kids. Its time for me to man up and live like I do. I have to stop expecting to be treated well as a reward for being considerate to her. That is one of my biggest problems. I get in these cycles where I will decide to be a better husband/father. I start to treat my wife better and try to be more emotionally available. Then, inevitably, she will fail to reciprocate. So I get discouraged, and fall back into my old behavior patterns. I finally realize I have been quitting too soon. I can’t expect everything in a marriage to be “quid pro quo.”

    I know I can’t fix her, but I can fix me. Thanks for writing this down for others to read. It took reading this for me to stop thinking of myself as a victim and start taking some responsibility.


    • Maddy476 says:

      Brilliant. Congrats. Recognizing it is half the battle. Women wanted their husbands to make them feel loved and cared for. They are looking for an equal, a partner, a best friend. Would you ignore your male best friend if he asked for help. Do you disregard your male friends thoughts, opinions and feelings? I know it’s hard for guys to talk about this stuff. I recommend reading the book, The 5 Love Languages. It’s for men and women. Helps you learn what types of things make your spouse feel loved. For me, it was my ex taking the time to buy me something really thoughtful and sentimental. Could have been $20 for all I cared but he didn’t put the effort in and that’s one of the reasons he is my ex.
      Women would love to come home and say “God, I need some time to sit down and relax”, but we aren’t wired to be selfish. We are givers, caretakers. There’s dinner to be made, kids to be fed, homework to do, etc. We are exhausted. If women weren’t so exhausted and we felt cherished, we would be more inclined to want sex.
      Women don’t want to have to do all the thinking. If you can improve your relationship to the point where she’s sleeping with you again, take her away for a romantic weekend doing something SHE wants to do.
      I’m not trying to be critical here; only trying to help. I also highly recommend marriage counselling. Good Luck


  19. Humor meets truth. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Angel avil says:

    It’s 2018, Jan 25 and hey always got angry first before actually talking it out …now he just throws the hamper of cloths because I moved his sweater. ” don’t touch my shit!” He says “then you clean up and clean up after yourself ” I say. Mind you in pregnant, I do all the house work, he works full time with 2 hours transportation to work and back. Our last fight he blew up because I got nail polish remover on our wood table..yes he yells,name calls,makes me cry, this marriage is over if he can’t stop…3 bad fights in the beginning of yr .. I get no flowers,chocolate, nothing but a “sorry ” every time”.


  21. Johnny says:

    Dude. Stop beating yourself up in an attempt to find reason. She made the same vows to you – honor, commitment, yada yada yada. You sacrificed, she sacrificed. Different ways. If you both sacrificed the same things, there would have been a huge unfilled void. The thing is, she felt sorry for herself and quit. She has no honor, no sense of the meaning of commitment. You work 50 hours a week, she feeds the kids. That’s the deal. You need not put her on a pedestal any more than she needs to do that for you. This is a PARTNERSHIP now. You don’t need to “woo” her or treat her like a queen or offer her extra praise for carrying her own weight. That’s equality. The bad comes with the good, sister. Welcome to manhood.


  22. […] read my most-popular articles—either “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink” or “An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands”—and sometimes afterward men will tell me what a stupid dumbass moron I am because of whatever I […]


  23. Lisa says:

    My husband told me to, “blow my brains out”, this last weekend. I recall reading this website over a week ago. Maybe it’s when he got called out at work for watching porn on his work issued laptop. I don’t think you are reading posts anymore but the site was helpful.

    I really hope this doesn’t show on a Google search, but if it does, it’s at least true.


    • Matt says:

      I’m still reading, Lisa. And I’m so sorry, and speechless frankly, that he would say that to you.

      I’m sure, deep down, he feels like something’s unfair about all of this, and that you’re somehow partially responsible.

      Please take care of yourself and keep being the best you that you can be. Then, even though it won’t always be comfortable nor easy, you can be sure that everything will eventually be okay.

      I hope he finds the peace he needs to come back from whatever would cause him to say that to his wife.


  24. Sad Lady says:

    Just found out my husband cheats on me from the beginning. He calls and texts prostitutes constantly and has an extorted idea of what good sex is… If it’s not like on porn movies it’s not good. I just wish he would read this.


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