I’m On Drugs

My brain is fried. Because, drugs.

My brain is fried. Because, drugs.

I don’t know if it’s my third straight week on antibiotics, the narcotic painkillers, or all of the things in my life I’m currently afraid of (there’s a big list), but my brain is not operating at full capacity.

I try to write.

I want to tell you what’s going on. I want to make you part of the conversation. I want other people going through divorce to see how poorly I’m dealing with the fallout many months later so they can make better choices.

But I just can’t. I, literally, can’t form the words.

I just tabled a post I’ve been working on for an hour because I can’t write. I don’t know how to finish it. Or transition to new thoughts. Or say anything relevant. Or write a sentence without 46 typos in it.

To craft readable material, there are parts of my brain I need to function which don’t appear to be functioning.

I’m sorry.

Hopefully I can scrape together the mental fortitude necessary to actually write soon.

I promise I’m trying.

Drugs do not make me a better writer.

Now I know.

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30 thoughts on “I’m On Drugs

  1. tuttotace says:

    Waiting for you 😊, take your time.

    Like

  2. completelyinthedark says:

    Way more important for you to take care of yourself. We’ll all be here whenever you’re back in black. :-)

    Like

  3. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Take your time. No rush. And this?

    “I want other people going through divorce to see how poorly I’m dealing with the fallout many months later so they can make better choices.”

    Anyone going through a divorce, whether they initiated it or not, does this. Don’t sweat it too much…a lot of us have been there, done that. When the words come back to you, we’ll be here to listen and commiserate, for sure. ((hugs))

    Like

  4. OHkls says:

    Welcome to my world. I feel like that on a daily basis…

    Like

  5. yuck. that brain-egg is souring my stomach! :-p

    Often times….OFTEN.TIMES! I live in a place I lovingly refer to as “The Fog.” i can’t think! Yours is probably more drugs than anything else but I get what you are saying 100%.

    Feel better, friend.

    Like

  6. RR says:

    Oh Matt. Sorry to read of you being in such a state. Feel better – on all levels – soon. I am not as tech-savvy as most people are these days…every one of my posts is created in long hand first. Something about that pen to paper. Maybe give that a try (if you don’t or haven’t already). Pen to paper. See where it takes you. Chin up! :)

    Like

  7. Jack Chaser says:

    Writings a tough thing to do at the best of times. Get better. Take your time. The internet has a long memory. Your faithful readers will still be here when you are ready

    Like

  8. mewhoami says:

    Drugs are not helpful at all when it comes to writing. I’m so sorry to hear that you are still not feeling better. I hope you will recover quickly. Until then, at least we have these post updates to let us know that you’re still kicking. :)

    Like

  9. nights7 says:

    You sound like the way I feel by the end of a work week. Apparently sleep deprivation & drugs have a similar effect on the brain. It’s not surprising.

    Like

  10. AndiMirandi says:

    We’ll wait. :)

    Like

  11. How nice to be able to just write a plain post, one not full of angst! A good palette cleanser!

    Like

  12. David says:

    Get well and be patient with yourself!

    Regarding the divorce adjustment, as mentioned above by NAPR, it’s completely normal. It sucks a lot! The mistakes? Not all of your “mistakes” are avoidable.Some walls can be seen in advance. Others, you’ll find by running into them.

    Like

  13. sariscorner says:

    We will be paitent until then. I think we all agree on that you are allowed to feel shitty and sick sometimes and that in such cases blogging is not always the answer! Get well soon!

    Like

  14. anitvan says:

    That’s what your brain looks like?!? Ewww

    Like

  15. Wish you will feel better soon Matt :-)

    Like

  16. nykeypad says:

    Hope you feel better soon, Matt. Love the visual you posted, too.

    Like

  17. DailyMusings says:

    Feel better and those drugs need to be out of your system in order for you to be able to think in a lucid manner. Take it easy! Loved the fried egg metaphor- the old Partnership for a drug free America ad from 1987.

    Like

  18. mel says:

    Relax, and get better, Matty. The words will all be there when you get the fuzz cleared.

    Like

  19. Half Baked moment (via Jon Stewart): “Have you ever seen The Lion King? Have you ever seen The Lion King … on drugs?”

    It’s time to play catch-up time with your blog. I hope all is well, man. I hope you had a splendid Father’s Day.

    Like

  20. girlseule says:

    Feel better soon!

    Like

  21. v0brien says:

    Sending you healing vibes.

    Like

  22. jgroeber says:

    This is your body’s way of saying, “Let It Go.” If your son were a daughter you’d have a brain-worm of a song playing in your drug-addled head right now. The point? Shingles was my body’s way of saying less is more and “Take care of you.” (Pretty Woman quote there…) This may be your body talking. You deserve a rest. You deserve peace. Now go nap. We’ll be here whenever you’re feeling better. Really.

    Like

  23. Yes to what everyone said. And this would be a good time for some review of your old post.

    Like

  24. suzjones says:

    Rest my friend and let yourself heal. There is time enough later for writing.

    Like

  25. julitownsend says:

    It always gets better. Give it time, the words will come when you’re feeling better. Rest and heal.

    Like

  26. Vince says:

    Take your time.

    When my divorce situation started I found your blog early on and it’s been a huge help to me. At first I felt pretty isolated even though I knew there were countless other men dealing with the same thing I was and am facing but there was something about the honesty in your blog that really helped me. I was like therapy but without the fee I was paying my therapist.

    Like

  27. Jules says:

    But we love you anyway!

    Like

  28. Sarah says:

    I hope you feel better soon!

    Like

  29. JujyCakes says:

    Feel better soon. Maybe this is your body telling you to take a rest? Take care.

    Like

  30. Lucia Maya says:

    I’m so grateful I just found your blog (through Fat Bottom Girl Said What) – wonderful prose, great humor, interesting and funny… a rare combination in a blog. Glad you’re still alive, and looking forward to more of your writing!

    Like

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