A husband I know got into hot water with his wife after letting the family’s insurance coverage lapse several months ago.
“How could he be so irresponsible? How could he let that happen to his family? What if something happened?” my friend said to me.
I just shrugged. Because I do things just like that.
I am a world-class procrastinator. I think I currently rank No. 2 in the world, just behind my five-year-old son. I’ll check the rankings later.
My friend thinks I’m a good person and totally responsible. She thinks I’m a good sounding board for discussing her marital frustrations.
I got a letter in the mail a few weeks ago. There was a huge “URGENT!” stamped on it in super-duper-emergency red.
The exact wording of the letter from my insurance agent escapes me, but it was VERY close to this:
“Because you are an irresponsible degenerate piece of shit who can’t manage bills like an adult, your insurance policy has been cancelled. We sure hope you haven’t been driving around with lapsed auto coverage, and we have our fingers crossed that your house doesn’t catch fire or get swallowed by a sinkhole.
“But if it does, you’ll deserve it. Because you’re an asshole.
“Life tip: You and your son’s health and wellbeing, along with your house and car are the three most-valuable things you possess. So maybe think about growing up one of these days and taking care of your shit.
“<Cue Samir from Office Space> You are a very bad person, Matt.
“Sincerely, Your Insurance Agent”
Yeah, tell me something I don’t know, Insurance People. You should see what I can do to a marriage.
One of the best ways for me to overcome procrastination is to create an emergency.
I respond FABULOUSLY with focus, energy and determination when I’m facing an emergency. I had insurance coverage restored within 24 hours of realizing I had a problem.
You may be wondering: “How the hell could something like that happen?”
I have a three- or four-month supply of unopened mail on my home office desk.
I still have unopened birthday cards laying on my dining room table. My birthday was three weeks ago.
I am capable of putting things off in ways you haven’t even thought of yet. And maybe I’ll tell you about it someday if I ever get around to it. Start holding your breath… right… now.
Procrastination is not a good thing. I’m making light of it because I don’t see the point in flailing about all dramatic-like, AND because this offers you a peek into the guy my ex-wife wanted to leave.
I do want you to know who I am.
One wonders why I wouldn’t want to clean up the sins of my past that lead to the single-worst thing that has ever happened to me. Perhaps there’s a psychological explanation for why I am the way I am. And perhaps I’ll look into that one day. You know, when I get around to it.
I am a negligent person.
Some of you may remember the post where I explored the hypothetical ramifications of my grandmother marrying a Liam Neeson movie character. At the end of that post, I disclosed that my grandmother had been in an accident which forced her to have a variety of surgeries. She was in and out of the hospital for several weeks.
My grandmother is the sweetest woman on the planet, and I think about her often, and did pray earnestly for her recovery.
I called her yesterday for the first time since the accident in January. I left her a message because my grandparents weren’t home. When my grandma called me back last night, I ignored the phone call because I felt “too busy” to answer.
Hopefully, I’ll be disciplined enough to return her call today. Start holding your breath!
I only recently discovered PsyBlog. It’s awesome.
Last month, PsyBlog author Dr. Jeremy Dean wrote a nice post titled “10 Foolproof Tips for Overcoming Procrastination.”
If you’re interested, please give it a read.
I’ll list the 10 here, but you’ll need to read his post to get the full context for a few of them.
1. Start easy
2. Start anywhere
3. Beware excuses
4. Up the value
5. Procrastination personality
6. Turn up
7. Think concrete
8. Don’t rely on memory
9. Avoid over-thinking
10. Forgive yourself
There’s a lot of good stuff here that very much applies to my life.
Because I do make excuses. To others and myself.
Because when I “Up the value” (an emergency!) I get shit done.
Because I do have a procrastination personality.
Because I have a subpar memory for task management and short-term things.
Because I over-think EVERYTHING.
And because I have a lot of trouble forgiving myself for… gee, let me think… pretty much every bad thing I’ve ever done.
I bet if I stopped procrastinating, I would feel less stressed.
I bet if I stopped procrastinating, I could get in great shape again.
I bet if I stopped procrastinating, I could make a good book.
I bet if I stopped procrastinating, I would feel spiritually balanced.
I bet if I stopped procrastinating, every facet of my life would improve.
This is great! I have something to focus on! An identifiable shortcoming I can do something about!
It’s going to be so gratifying to work on this stuff and grow and evolve into the person I want to be!
But when to start!?!?