A Vacation From My Problems

A vacation! A vacation from my problems!

A vacation! A vacation from my problems! Only with less sun and more snow.

For the first time since the Fourth of July 2013, I am getting out of town.

Much-needed time away.

To see family and friends I love.

To eat, drink and be merry.

To laugh.

To just be… me.

The last time I took any sort of legit trip and felt like me was the summer of 2011.

My son was three.

I still thought I was going to get to stay married for the rest of my life.

That’s a level of comfort and security I think most married people take for granted. Because they get bored. That’s a sad thing.

We went to Myrtle Beach, S.C. It’s a little cliché for Ohio families to go to Myrtle. But it also makes a lot of sense. Because it’s probably the best family spot not named Disney World I’ve ever been to. Kids can be kids. Adults can be adults.

On the drive home from that trip, I was deliriously tired.

We stopped at a McDonald’s with another family with whom we were traveling.

I had to go to the bathroom.

You know, number two.

You know, poop.

I have a slight phobia about this sort of thing in public places. You can read more about that here.

Because I don’t want to get Public Restroom AIDS, I try to use lots of protective layering in the very rare instance when I’m required to do this.

On this particular fateful morning, the protective layering was lots of toilet paper.

I finished my business. Washed up. And walked back out where my wife, son and friends were sitting.

My friend Josh started laughing at me right away and taking photos.

I looked down. I had about a half roll worth of toilet paper sticking out the back of my shorts and flying around behind me like a Hawaiian grass skirt.

I muttered an expletive and walked back to the bathroom. Dozens of people were amused. But we were in West Virginia, I didn’t know anyone, and I was pretty hungover, so I didn’t really care.

But that’s still one of those moments that sticks with you after your wife leaves.

Like maybe that was just one more piece of straw that finally broke the camel’s back for her.

The asshole with the toilet paper dangling from his shorts.

New MBTTTR Voices

A few awesome bloggers agreed to guest post for me in my absence. I may skip a day. I may write. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do.

But tomorrow, you’ll get a really great post from Lisa at Lessons From the End of a Marriage.

The next day, you’ll peek inside the heart and mind of David at The Marmot in My Head and Sounds like Orange.

On Sunday or Monday, I’m sharing an already-published post by Gretchen at Drifting Through my Open Mind which had really resonated with me when I’d read it.

And then, there may be something from a Mystery Guy. I can’t say his name because I don’t yet know his plans.

I hope you enjoy these writers as much as I do. I can’t thank them enough for helping me out with this.

I’m heading west.

About 16 hours in the car there and back, eight each way. Plenty of time for self-reflection. Plenty of time to choose myself some more.

A visit to my father’s.

An opportunity for everyone to see how big my five-year-old son is getting.

They grow so fast.

An opportunity to hug and laugh and let go.

It’s been a while.

An opportunity to be somewhere else.

Physically AND mentally.

I think a person needs that.

To heal more.

A vacation from my problems.

To be free.

See you on the flipside.


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58 thoughts on “A Vacation From My Problems

  1. elbrookman says:

    Last time I felt like me was in 1989 and two women in Vegas stripped me naked and took my pants. Have a great vacation !


  2. Have a terrific time, Matt! We all need these breaks, and my guess is you will feel amazing after you return. Will look forward to reading your guest bloggers’ posts, too! XOXO-Kasey


  3. dorothyemyers says:

    Sounds Fantastic. Thank you for the quest bloggers.


    • Matt says:

      Thank them! They’re wonderful people.

      I’m looking forward to seeing how people feel about their posts.

      I’ll probably play in the comments a little.


  4. lesliekochis says:

    haha! i about choked on my lunch both from your post and the first comment. I am glad (hoping) that the TP that was swaying in the breeze was fresh stuff?!! maybe don’t answer that. i am very glad that you are going to get so much needed R & R. As you know I did something similar last month and it was profoundly refreshing!

    safe travels please!


  5. Hope you have a great time. It is nice to go away once in a while, as you said, “Physically AND mentally”. Hope I can follow your example this year, and go somewhere new, meet new people, learn something new, change anything, feel free… As I said at first… Hope you have a great time!


  6. Have we gotten to be too much to handle already? ;). Enjoy!


  7. mewhoami says:

    Enjoy your trip!


  8. Enjoy the trip, etc, etc, but really – What About Bob is MY FAVORITE MOVIE!!! I’m constantly quoting it “baby steps onto the elevator” “I feel good, I feel great, I feel good, I feel great!” So – long distance virtual high five dude for having excellent taste!


  9. Enjoy your vacation and the time with family and friends!
    Time off from time to time is so important.

    Much love,


  10. johnnybsgirl says:

    Have a great time in your travels. See things with “fresh eyes” on your journey – you and your son can explore the wonders of the world together! And above all – be safe! (Yeah, I get to give that “motherly advice” since I’m so much older than you … ;-)


  11. “I just let the boat do the work for me. That’s my secret.” :)


  12. Have a great vacation, Matt. You TOTALLY deserve it.


  13. suzjones says:

    Matt, take the time out to be around those who love you for who you are. Rest, relax and recharge. The rest of the world can wait.


  14. Caitlinjade says:

    Happy holidaying, Matt!


  15. What About Bob is one of my favorite movies!
    Enjoy the vacation…


  16. knace says:

    Safe travels! Tell us all about it when you get back, OK? =)


  17. DailyMusings says:

    Safe travels- enjoy every minute. I am still laughing out loud from your toilet paper episode- what a great mental image.


  18. Hannah says:

    Have a great trip! Enjoy the R&R!


  19. Thank you for leaving us with babysitters while you are gone. You’ll be missed.


  20. garden2day says:

    Have a great one and don’t let the past eat your future. Those memories can be like taking the first step off a plane…several thousand feet in the air…it can be a killer. I know. I keep fighting them. Have fun!!! :)


  21. simplyjenny27 says:

    Enjoy your trip away.. sometimes when we leave our surroundings we get to really feel insight. Have a great trip and remember to take pictures.. they are lives greatest memories!


  22. My first wife did something similar getting her skirt tucked inside her panties. That was before Youtube, more’s the pity! Have a great vacation!


  23. thatnavaword says:

    Have fun and savour it. Everyone needs a getaway every now and then. even if it’s just sleeping out about 30 minutes away from home. it’s about shutting down for a bit you know. my last holiday away was on my birthday november past. busying saving up to go again on my birthday this yr. making it an annual thing. a gf and i went to a resort and spa. was so much fun just to relax.


  24. Lololol!! That’s exactly why I check every part of myself including the bottom of my shoes before I leave a public restroom!! Im terrified of things like that! Have a great break, fingers crossed no more incidents of rogue toilet paper occur!


  25. jadedwildcat says:

    Gawd, and I thought the worst thing to happen was tucking your skirt into your pantyhose xD … not that I’ve ever done that (ahem).
    Very glad to hear you’re getting a much-needed and well-deserved break to just be you, let loose and feel free if even for a short while. Hugs. Enjoy it :)
    Also, ‘What about Bob’ is a friggin amazing flick!!!!!!!!! <3


  26. Man I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. I mean I went on vacations last Summer with the kids and all but to get in the truck and just go, just me. In October when she decided it was over, there was nothing to be done, I felt at the moment that I needed to just drive and keep driving. Then the breaks were applied as she explained she wanted to wait until January for her legal services to kick in at work, pre paid legal, to help with legal costs. What could I do but say alright yes. After all I don’t want it to end.

    Then during those few months there was some kind of change. We started talking again and playing board games, going out to eat and catching a movie here and there. Sometimes as a family and sometimes just the two of us. We talked daily.

    Today we went to the movies to see American Hustle, cool movie, then we went to a local spot for lunch and beer. It was there she brought things up and said she felt the same and that since her PPL service had started things could proceed. Perhaps I was being naive in thinking maybe there was a chance at us working it out.
    I should have spent the past few months preparing myself for this instead of being a schmuck and thinking somehow it would all end in marital bliss but….well there it is. On my way to divorce, PT fatherhood, loneliness…I’m still not ready.

    You asked me if that last photo I posted was a metaphor. It was not at the time but I guess it is now somehow. The long road ahead, can’t see the other side but you know it’s there. That is what the picture means to me right now.


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