Technical Difficulties

I spilled beer on my computer keyboard and broke it.
It got drunk. It passed out. And then died of alcohol poisoning.
In my infinite wisdom, I ran to Target tonight to buy a replacement so I could write something about the weekend.
I was embarrassed while walking in the store because I dripped food on my shirt like a small child during dinner and didn’t stop at home to change it. It is stained and pathetic.
They only had wireless keyboards at Target.
So I bought one, thinking I had solved my problem and my writing could continue.
When I went to turn on the keyboard, I quickly realized I needed to download a special driver to make it work. In order to download software, my Mac requires I type a password.
But I can’t type a password because the damn keyboard is nonfunctional.
So I’m sitting here pissed and typing this on my phone.
I’ve already gotten shit from two people for not posting this weekend. I traveled and was busy, but still should have tried harder.
I’m not happy that I can’t write. Nor am I happy that I’m not smart enough to troubleshoot this wireless keyboard situation.
This is the sort of bizarre, bad-luck situation in which I often find myself. So I’m at least used to this kind of thing.
Beer on the keyboard. Ugh.
Another lesson learned the hard way.
To the two people in the world irked with my lack of posting, I sincerely apologize.
As long as I don’t die from chronic renal failure or falling in a sinkhole, posting should resume tomorrow.
With the operative words being “renal failure.”
In closing, I’m a guy who spills food on shirts, and beer on keyboards.

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12 thoughts on “Technical Difficulties

  1. tripb says:

    I once dripped a combination of ice cream and wine on my laptop without realizing it.
    Then Closed the laptop and probably passed out.
    The next time I opened it, the winescream acted like glue and several keys ripped off.
    I went several months before I realized that they just snap back on.
    So don’t feel bad about your lack of troubleshooting skills.
    And don’t feel bad about not posting either, life is to be lived first, written about second. I’d be upset if I thought you passed up something in real life in order to sit behind your keyboard-less Mac…

    Like

    • Matt says:

      While I hear you and agree with you, SOMEONE has to write all this shit down.

      I’m short on purpose these days. I need to keep that one.

      Winescream. I like that. And I kind of want some. Assuming it wasn’t something ridiculous like Marsala and Rum Raisin.

      Like

      • tripb says:

        It was a red and probably pineapple/coconut… I am not too choosy about wine, I mostly like them all.
        Ice cream, however, I’m much pickier about, nothing with chunks of chocolate YUK!!!

        Like

  2. imdoctorwho says:

    Of all, why renal failure?

    Like

  3. Tricia says:

    Lol on the renal failure!

    Like

  4. Awww… poor thing. If it makes you feel better, I was going to pester you, but didn’t want to be a nag. So consider that three people hunting you down. Good luck with the keyboard.

    Like

  5. knace says:

    Matt, you are way too hard on yourself. Waaaaaay too hard. And do NOT respond to this by apologizing for being way too hard on yourself! It’s all good! – like your writing =)

    Like

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