I have an unhealthy and unreasonable fear of failure.
I recognize that I have this problem and that it holds me back. I have less fun because of it. I probably make less money because of it. I’m probably not published because of it. And I almost certainly have worse “luck” with women because of it.
I’ve written previously about the need to adopt the rhythm of change in our lives, creating our own luck, and taking more chances because almost all humans overestimate the negative risks of putting ourselves out there. We also fail to recognize the cost of inaction. The opportunities lost by not acting boldly.
Well, it’s time to try something different. It’s time to take more chances.
My initial efforts in this department will be focused on approaching women in public places. I was talking to a lady yesterday who had read my “I’m a Total Pansy” post. She strongly encouraged me to try harder in this department. She had just returned from the grocery store where not one, but TWO, different men had chatted her up—one about avocados, the other about re-engineering grocery carts to make them better. This guy?
I need to attract a mate. Maybe some of the ladies I see walking around out there are every bit as neurotic as I am. Maybe one of them wonders why guys never talk to her at the grocery store.
I don’t think it can hurt to try. And if it does? I’ll lick my wounds and whine about it which is what I spend my time doing anyway.
I vow before God and before you, to make a concerted effort to talk to more strangers. To be less of a wimp. To trust that my failures will be easy to get over and my successes will add a new level of self-confidence to my chemistry and enhance the opportunity for positive experiences in my life.
I figure at the very least, it will be valuable writing material—documenting when I chicken out, when I embarrass myself, and God-willing, when I do something awesome.
Hell, even shitty batters hit the ball 20 percent of the time.
It’s an opportunity to learn something about myself.
And it scares me. Which is exactly why I need to do it.